This blog discusses the podcast “What You Don't Know” by Lulu Wang and my argument about her story involving a time when she told the biggest lie of her life to her grandmother. In addition, I have provided below a personal narrative about a situation in my life where I almost told someone a difficult truth but decided to lie instead.
In the story, Wang’s grandmother, who is called Nainai, is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and is only given three months to live. However, Nainai’s sister, called Little Nainai, tells everyone in the family that Wang’s grandmother can never find out that she only has a short time left to live. Her reasoning was that Nainai will be too upset and her condition will become worse. Wang thinks this idea is completely absurd and that she must tell her grandmother the truth. However, her parents forbid her and say that she cannot go to China to see Nainai one last time if she gives it away. Everyone suppresses their overwhelming feeling of grief and put on a happy face for Nainai. Because no one told her about her cancer, she ended up living for another three happy years and in her 2015 appointment, her condition was still the same. After listening to Lulu Wang’s story “What You Don’t Know,” I found myself baffled throughout the tale for many different reasons. When Wang said that her family decided not to tell her Nainai that she was ill, I immediately thought this was terrible, and almost immoral, plan. I thought that Nainai definitely deserved to know, without a doubt in my mind. However, by the time I got to the end, I questioned myself a little because Nainai lived for at least another three years. Since she had a positive mentality, she was able to keep a smile on her face and live much longer than anyone expected. Her family believed that if she knew, she would be devastated and it would take a toll on her health. I have been going back and forth about whether Wang and her family did the right thing or not, but I concluded that they should have told Nainai. My argument is that if I were the one diagnosed with a terminal illness, I would want someone to tell me. Like most people, I would obviously be devastated by this news no matter how old I was or how much longer I had to live. But if I only had a few months to live, I would want to do things that I had never gotten the chance to do before and say proper goodbyes to people before I got too sick. I would not want to become extremely ill out of nowhere and with no preparation that I am about to die. It’s possible that not knowing the truth could keep me alive for a little longer, but I would ultimately die suddenly like Wang’s grandfather did when Nainai did not tell him about his liver cancer. In addition, it is clear in the story that the secret was a burden for Wang’s entire family to carry. Even though they felt they were doing the right thing, there was still guilt on their conscious for deceiving Nainai. It was also difficult to hide their emotions from her because they knew this could be the last time that they saw her. They made a huge, complicated plan and if one thing went wrong, the secret would be out. I think Wang’s family went to a lot of trouble to withhold a truth that should have already been told to Nainai when she first went to see the doctor. It is understandable that they did not want to make Nainai upset and that it was part of Chinese culture that good mentality keeps you alive. However, I believe she deserved to know so that she could come to terms with her impending death and say goodbye to her loved ones before it was too late. Just a few months ago, I almost told someone a difficult truth but ended up lying instead to spare her feelings. This person was my roommate from Bloomsburg University and it was the night I told her I was transferring back home. Recently, I came to the revelation that I was not truly happy at Bloomsburg. One reason was that I had a lot of medical issues, particularly with my heart, and the campus was on a giant hill. Everyday walking to class was a struggle and I always had to stop halfway to sit on a bench so that I could catch my breath. The second, and main reason, for wanting to leave was that I was so lonely at Bloomsburg. I loved my roommate and we had become best friends, but every weekend she would go to her boyfriend’s house since he was only an hour away. Being a somewhat shy person, I never really made any other friends and had no one to hang out with. I would FaceTime my boyfriend or parents and cry because I missed them so much and I hated being cooped up in my room all day. It got to the point where my dad drove two and a half hours to come see me and bring me home for the day. In the middle of October, I woke up one Monday morning and realized that I did not want this to be my life for the next four years. I could not get the thought out of my head and called my parents to tell them about my revelation. Over the next week, we came up with a plan that I would come home at the end of the semester and transfer to Delaware County Community College. They said I could transfer the following fall to West Chester University. I became very excited that I was coming back home, but I doubted myself if this was the right thing to do. My hesitation was that I’d be leaving a really great roommate behind. I knew she would be devastated when I told her, especially because of the reason why I was leaving. Just like me, she did not have a lot of friends either and I did not want to leave her with no one to be her roommate. However, I knew I could not let her keep me back from going home and being happy. When I finally decided to tell her, everything came out wrong and did not go how I planned it. One night after we had turned out the lights for bed, I started crying because of how lonely I felt and she asked what was wrong. First, I told her how lonely I actually was on weekends and how homesick I was. I explained that it was not her fault that she left every weekend because I would do the same thing if my boyfriend were that close to the school. Then, I stupidly blurted out that I decided to transfer at the end of the semester. She immediately began apologizing repeatedly and said she would not leave every weekend if it meant I would stay. My roommate thought it was all her fault, and of course it was not, but being so lonely was the main reason I was leaving. I instantly felt guilty and came up with a lie to try to calm her down. Quickly, I blamed my transfer completely on my heart condition and told her that the doctors think it is best if I am on a less hilly campus. The doctors never said this, but I was willing to say anything so she would stop blaming herself. I don’t know if she fully believed me, but it was enough to calm her down. Throughout the rest of the semester, I kept up the lie by emphasizing how hard it was to walk up the hill to make it seem like this was my main reason for leaving. It was somewhat true because it was difficult to walk to class, but I’m not one to openly complain about discomfort. She accepted my decision to leave and was very supportive, saying that my health is more important than school. I hate lying and don’t do it often, but I felt that in this case, I needed to stretch the truth in order to not hurt her feelings or put blame on her. To this day, we still talk almost every day and I’m so glad that we do because if I had given her the difficult truth, she might not have spoken to me ever again.
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This blog regards the short story “My Name is Margaret” by Maya Angelou. It includes my argument about the story and also a narrative of my own where I was in a situation to stand up to authority, but chose not to. The narrative is about a time when I was in high school at yearbook club and I could have stood up for myself and other members. In the short story “My Name is Margaret” by Maya Angelou, Margaret struggles with her new job with Mrs. Cullinan and must make a drastic decision whether to keep the position or not. When Mrs. Cullinan is having a gathering with her friends, one of them asks what Margaret’s name was when she set down a tray for them. Mrs. Cullinan replied and the friend said, “...But the name’s too long. I’d never bother myself. I’d call her Mary if I was you” (Angelou). After this incident, Mrs. Cullinan takes up her friend’s idea and starts calling Margaret ‘Mary.’ Margaret, furious by this, wanted to quit her job more than anything but she knew her mother would not let her if it were not for a good reason. Eventually, Bailey helps her come up with a plan to break Mrs. Cullinan’s favorite casserole dish and two green glass cups. When Margaret makes the decision and follows through with the plan, Mrs. Cullinan is devastated and hysterical by what the girl has done. She calls her names and throws broken pieces at her. However, Margaret leaves the house overjoyed and relieved that she would never have to work for the woman again. I agree with Margaret’s decision to stand up to Mrs. Cullinan’s oppression towards her because she used her authority to strip away the first thing Margaret was given at birth: her name. Having your name altered by someone just because the name is an inconvenience to them, is awful and completely absurd. Everyone should be called the name they want to be addressed by, whether someone has authority over them or not. I think for Margaret it was especially hard because she had been oppressed all her life and being called ‘Mary’ instead of her real name, made her realize how badly white people treat her and others. While Mrs. Cullinan was very much in the wrong, I do think Margaret destroying her most prized possessions was a little harsh. However, the woman deserved it and I think it taught her a lesson. At the end, Mrs. Cullinan finally called her by her real name and I think she could finally see that taking away someone’s name is also like taking away a prized possession. Our names are our identities and no one has the right to take that away, no matter how much power they have. Names are a beautiful thing and should not be an inconvenience to anyone. After reading this story, I now wish I could be a little more like Margaret and stand up for myself. When I was a junior in high school, I was asked to join the executive yearbook staff. Meetings were Monday through Thursday for two hours after school which was a lot to handle on top of homework. Having wanted to be apart of the newspaper or yearbook for awhile, it was a huge honor to be recommended by my English teacher to join. I enjoyed my first year of it but when I did it my senior year, the yearbook was a mess. Our editor in chief had graduated and she really kept our faculty moderator on top of making sure she proofread our captions and stories before we put it in the book. The moderator had a tendency to yell at people even for the smallest of things and she would become easily frustrated. People would ask her if she read their work yet, but she kept pushing it off saying that she would do it the next day. Oftentimes, she was not busy and she would just be talking to the football or basketball players rather than helping us. I respected her and I really cared about her opinion, but she put a lot on my plate and it just kept piling up until deadline day rolled around. One deadline day, I thought we were in a good position. However, we actually were not because the captions were never checked by the moderator. She marked up most of them as bad and there were at least thirty that we had to fix on the same day my section of the book was supposed to be sent to the publishing company. On top of that, she added a club that I did not even know existed until two days before the deadline and I needed to scramble for a story, captions, quotes, and pictures. That day was very stressful and I only remember going to two of my classes because I had to skip the rest to work on the yearbook. It was very frustrating and the moderator ended up yelling at the whole club because of how behind we were. Later, she said to me personally that it was not my fault because I had been on the computer all day working. Regardless, the whole situation could have been avoided if she just took a little time to proofread our work before deadline day. Looking back on it, I feel like I should have acted more like our previous editor in chief and kindly asked her to proofread our work. I think if I had just kept asking her about it, she would have done it sooner. Instead, I was too afraid to speak up for fear of getting yelled at. Because I showed up and worked hard every day on the book, I feel like my moderator somewhat abused my work ethic and put a lot of pressure on me. I hope the future of the club will not be like it was my senior year, but I still wonder if it is the same and if I could have done something to prevent it. I wish I could have stood up for myself and the other members of the club even though she was an authority figure. Despite the club causing me stress that could have been avoided, I did love working on the yearbook because seeing the finished product at the end was so rewarding. It felt so good to see everyone looking at the pictures I took or the captions I wrote and loving how the yearbook turned out. This blog post focuses on three quotes from each of the following passages provided below. I picked each particular quote because they stood out to me while I read them. In addition, I connected with them through my current writing process for various assignments I have had in the past.
Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) Quote #1: “Instead of teaching finished writing, we should teach unfinished writing, and glory in its unfinishedness. We work with language in action. We share with our students the continual excitement of choosing one word instead of another, of searching for the one true word” (Murray 2) Quote #2: “We have to respect the student, not for his product, not for the paper we call literature by giving it a grade, but for the search for truth in which he is engaged. We must listen carefully for those words that may reveal a truth, that may reveal a voice. We must respect our student for his potential truth and for his potential voice” (Murray 3). Quote #3: “Implication No. 7. There must be time for the writing process to take place and time for it to end. The writer must work within the stimulating tension of unpressured time to think and dream and stare out windows, and pressured time—the deadline—to which the writer must deliver” (Murray 5) The Daily Routines of Great Writers (Maria Popova) Quote #1: “In consequence, the members of my household never pay the slightest attention to my being a writing man — they make all the noise and fuss they want to. If I get sick of it, I have places I can go. A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper” (E.B. White). Quote #2: “So another ‘ritual’ as you call it, is to pray to Jesus to preserve my sanity and my energy so I can help my family…” (Jack Kerouac). Quote #3: “But, generally, just sitting down and really trying is enough to get it started. I break for lunch, come back, and do it some more. And then, usually, a nap. Naps are essential to my process. Not dreams, but that state adjacent to sleep, the mind on waking” (William Gibson). Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Anne Lamott) Quote #1: “Writing can be a pretty desperate endeavor, because it is about some of our deepest needs: our need to be visible, to be heard, our need to make sense of our lives, to wake up and grow and belong. It is no wonder if we sometimes tend to take ourselves perhaps a bit too seriously” (Anne Lamott 4). Quote #2: “We all often feel like we are pulling teeth, even those writers whose prose ends up being the most natural and fluid. The right words and sentences just do not come pouring out like ticker tape most of the time” (Anne Lamott 5). Quote #3: “But I am suggesting that there may be someone out there in the world- maybe a spouse, maybe a close friend- who will read your finished drafts and give you an honest critique, let you know what does and doesn’t work, give you” (Anne Lamott 9). My Process “Find an environment where you can fully concentrate on your writing. If the noise level in the house is too much, get some fresh air and go to a quieter place to work.” “If you are having trouble with a particular sentence or paragraph, try writing a different part of your paper. If this is still too difficult, focus on other work you need to accomplish, but still keep your ideas in the back of your mind.” “Ask someone to read your paper and critique it. They can help you determine if you need more detail or if a certain aspect of the paper does not make sense.” __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I don’t know if it is possible to have perfect happiness on Earth, but I believe there is perfect happiness in Heaven. However, my idea of perfect happiness on Earth is being married to a loving husband and having a few children. In addition, I don’t want a lot of money or possessions, however, I want to be financially stable enough so that I would not have to work and I can spend my time with my family. Also, I’ve never been outside the country and I want to be able to travel someday. __2.__What is your greatest fear? I think my greatest fear is dying suddenly or a loved one dying. Particularly, I am afraid that me or someone I love will get into a car accident. My fear is that I won’t get to say goodbye to my family or friends if the death is unexpected. __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? The trait I most deplore in myself is being over sensitive or overreact to things people say. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? The trait I most deplore in others is when people are not kind or respectful. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? The living person I most admire is my dad because he has such a positive outlook on life and is very laid back. I wish I could be more like him and stress a little less. He always encourages me to do my best in everything I do. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? My greatest extravagance is spending money on things for my boyfriend. Whether it is for gifts or dates, I definitely spend the most money on him. __7.__What is your current state of mind? My current state of mind is very focused on school while also thinking about my future. I find myself a little stressed at times because I feel like I have to get everything done at once. Oftentimes, I think that I have to graduate college as soon as possible in order to get a job and make money. __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I don’t think any virtue is overrated and I think they are all good standards that everyone should follow. __9.__On what occasion do you lie? I don’t lie often but when I do, it is usually to prevent from hurting someone else’s feelings. __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? The thing I dislike most about my appearance is the scars I have on my right leg. Because I had so much surgery on my leg, it looks dramatically different compared to my left. In the summer when I’m at the pool or wearing shorts, I get a little self-conscious because people stare or ask if I got into an accident. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but occasionally, I wish my leg looked more normal. __11.__Which living person do you most despise? I don’t think I despise any specific person, but anyone who actively goes out of their way to hurt someone is something I despise. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? The quality I like most in a man is one who is not afraid to show how they feel. I think there is a stigma that men cannot show their emotions and that they have to act tough. However, I think the ability to express feelings and even be able to cry in front of someone is very attractive in a guy. __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? The quality I like most in a woman is compassion. I think the women in my life who are very compassionate, are easy to talk to and approachable. Most of my friends are very compassionate people and they are good listeners to anything I have to say. __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? I feel like I say “I’m tired” a lot at any point during the day. __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? I’m Catholic and I know I’m supposed to love God the most, even though it is hard because I can’t see him. I try to love Him the most, but I also love my boyfriend Trevor so much. We met and started dating senior year of high school and have been dating for almost a year now. He is definitely the love of my life and the person I want to marry in the future. __16.__When and where were you happiest? Each summer when I go to my oncology camp, Kay’s Kamp, I am the happiest. I get to see so many friends and I think I smile the most and laugh the hardest when I’m there. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? I really wish I could play the guitar and sing. My sister can pretty much learn songs on the ukulele by ear and she has perfect pitch, which I would love to be able to do with the guitar. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? If I could change one thing about myself, it would be to be more positive outlook on life like my dad. I think that I often assume the worst and get stressed about events that haven’t even happened yet. I want to focus more on the present and enjoy it, rather than worry about the future and be anxious. __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? I think the greatest achievement in my life is battling cancer. I only had a 10% chance to live and it is a miracle that I’m still here. It’s hard to believe I was only 9-years-old at the time and if it were to happen again, I don’t know if I would be as brave as I was then. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? If I were to die and come back as a person, I would come back as my four-year-old brother Michael. I would come back as him because he’s a really funny, observant, and crazy kid and I would love to see what goes on in his mind. __21.__Where would you most like to live? My parents went to Costa Rica a few years ago and absolutely loved it. I think I would want to live there or Disney World. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? My most treasured possession is the promise ring my boyfriend gave me. He gave it to me on our six month anniversary and it was the ring his dad gave to his mom on their one year wedding anniversary. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? I believe the lowest depth of misery is being completely alone. I find that I am the most sad when no one is at home with me and I have nothing to do to keep me occupied. Sometimes I like when it’s quiet but if I am alone for a long period of time, it gets very depressing. __24.__What is your favorite occupation? Even though I don’t get to do it often, I love to read for fun. I think I would want a job as an editor or a proofreader in the future as my occupation. __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? Many people say I’m a good listener whenever they have a problem or story to tell. __26.__What do you most value in your friends? I value support and loyalty in my friends. I always know that my friends will be there for me no matter what and they are there to encourage when I’m down. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? My favorite writers are J.K. Rowling, John Green, and Rainbow Rowell. I love J.K. Rowling because the story she created with the Harry Potter series was so creative. In addition, I love John Green and Rainbow Rowell because they write very emotional, but funny books. __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? My hero of fiction is Harry Potter because he fights for what is right and cares about the people he loves. __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? A historical figure I identify most with is Walt Disney. I love all the movies and going on vacation to Disney World. __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? The heroes in my life are my parents, my boyfriend, and my friends because they are all so inspiring and are always there for me. __31.__What are your favorite names? My favorite names are Chloe, Carter, Lily, and Levi. I would love to name my kids these names one day. __32.__What is it that you most dislike? I really dislike when people say they are open-minded but they get upset and argue when you have a different opinion than them. I think people should have a civilized conversation rather than raising their voices. __33.__What is your greatest regret? My greatest regret is not mending relationships that I hurt. Leaving them in a bad place makes me feel really guilty and I think about what I could have done to make it better. __34.__How would you like to die? I would like to die peacefully in my sleep after living a very long and fulfilling life. I would want to be able to say goodbye to my loved ones and then pass away in my sleep with no pain. __35.__What is your motto? Whenever I’m stressed, my dad tells me “This too shall pass” because the anxiety is only temporary and I will get through it. This is my motto because it’s a reminder that I should never give up when things get tough. |
Molly ZahnerI will use this blog to post my informal writing assignments for my English Composition I class. Archives
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